Rediscovering the Power of Circles for Growth, Friendship and Purpose

 Have you experienced the power of people working together?

“Where two or three are gathered in my name ...”—do you remember that promise? It promises that the greatest power in the universe will be available to them. That is an example of the kind of power that comes when people work together. What troubles and burdens one person is usually not much for 2 people to handle and could even be a joyful challenge to 3 or more people when they share the burden.

One of life’s greatest joys is friendship. If you find people who share your values and vision and are willing to work with you, then you are blessed beyond measure. There is enormous power and accomplishment when 2 or more people work together toward a goal with a sense of dedication and commitment. If their purpose is pure, that is, it benefits them and other people and does not harm the world, then you can be sure that unimaginable success is assured. With such unity, nothing is impossible! Working together is pure joy as the group, hood, or tribe delivers project after project, surmounts challenges, strengthening the bonds of comradeship, and building one another up in all facets of human endeavors.

These days, finding such circles is rare. Then, when you meet up with like-minded people, many factors make it difficult to have a regular rendezvous or sit in circles as we used to do in the past. Unfortunately, instead of drawing us closer, it does seem the way we use technology pulls us apart. In times past it took a trip to visit with someone, but these days almost everyone is a video or voice call away. But we hardly utilize that to grow our relationships. Then, when we choose to be entertained, we feed mostly on curated content on TV from different platforms. Content that hardly makes us think or innovate or socialize meaningfully.

The ways of the modern world are such that we hardly experience people deeply. Most relationships are superficial. You may know someone for a long time but be strangers still. People hardly share themselves or their personal life with others. The art of dialogue intended for openness and deep-rooted understanding is dying off. Is it social media or the TV?

It was not always like this, at least not for me. In the village we sat in circles and told stories. Uncle Adi was one of the very first people who opened the wonderful world of storytelling to me. Through those circles, we solved problems, shared experiences, and innovated. In the evenings, we all sat in the backyard; sometimes it was one large group as someone told a story of something that recently happened or of something from ‘Gbaka gbaka,’ as the Ikwerre man would refer to ancient times. At other times it was just 2 or more people in small groups: people will gist, and some will play games. Some will do their school homework.

The weather helped this socialization. The rooms were hot, as none had air-conditioning, and so people stayed outside, late into the night. They would generally go back inside as the cool breeze of the late night cooled the rooms, making them conducive for sleeping and other mingling.

Several things changed:We got more sophisticated and tended toward the Western system of individualization. People moved to other locations. Initially, it was within the community, but as children got older and more responsible, the move was across the world. In those places people moved to, they met others who didn’t have the culture of ‘ogbako nu abali’—gathering socially at night. Then, too, the fan and A/C became affordable to many. Also the greatest thief of human interaction, technology brought unlimited entertainment into the sitting room—everyone’s sitting room. And the circle disintegrated for many. It did for me.

Then, we also compartmentalized ourselves—we had a different group for different parts of our lives. For spiritual things we may have some people we relate with and then another person(s) for political and yet another for economic issues. We used to have the same hood, with the same values for everything!

Also, people in pursuit of livelihood often resort to competition instead of cooperation. They shred any form of humanity to get ahead. Then there is the fatigue that the system builds in us; we hardly have time after all the pursuits! You just want to pull up alone & exhale. Thus dies the idea and benefits of ‘the circle’ and working in unity.

Yet, the ideas that would change our lives, uplift a firm or a country are in the hearts and minds of the people we interact with, people in that country and stakeholders of the firm, respectively. The role of an innovative-minded organization is to curate those innovative ideas, set up a system to improve them, and give them the opportunity to improve the organization. That is where the circle becomes useful if properly set up & energized to thrive.

Make it your goal to find your hood: people who share your passion and commitment to growth. Start small. Learn to talk, to listen, and to share openly. Meet regularly physically when possible, virtually when not. Add meaning and purpose to your circle.

Try it in your friendships and at work. Imagine what a nation we would have if many people succeeded in creating meaningful circles.

Do you want a more fulfilling life? Get off that curated content and create your own content with other people. The circle is waiting.