From Trial and Error to Guided Growth: The Mentorship Advantage

 I often think about this:

If I knew years ago (10, 15, 20 or 30) what I know now, my journey in life would have been different. 

I have also realized that all those years there were already people who knew what I know now. If only I had been connected to them, and they had helped me, I’d have made better decisions.

Right now, I am intentionally looking for people ahead of me in all spheres of human endeavor.

Sometimes, the path we take to reach the goals we have set in life will never get us there. We often act based on the knowledge we have and the level of understanding that have acquired but as I have realized as stated above, these are often not enough to get us to where we truly want to be.

We need something more, guidance from someone who has greater insights. We need a mentor. But we are often held back with the illusion of arrival. Let me explain.

For a new project, I was tasked with recruiting volunteers to join my team. We were just four people and needed more hands. Although it was gruelling work with no extra pay, I was happy to be on the project. I saw great growth opportunities in working with the Consultant, the greatest of which was that I was going to learn! I thought everyone would be excited to also join to learn, but as one person after another turned me down, I came to understand the truth of the words: opportunity comes dressed in coveralls.

After many months of work, I became highly upskilled. Till today, I look back at that period as one of the most pivotal in my development as an expert in my field. If only those who turned down the opportunities took it, they too would be in a better situation today. I could clearly see a mismatch between their goal and the path they were treading—they had landed the big dream job and thought it was time to relax, but they also wished to grow in the company. Turning down difficult assignments won’t take them to the heights they really desire, but they do not know that yet. Unfortunately, there was no one to persuade them otherwise.

That is the illusion of arrival that prevents us from seeking help.

I have checked many milestones I’ve achieved in the past, and one thing is clear: whenever I reach a goal, I often think, for a while, that I am at the pinnacle of achievement and wisdom.

It is the same for everyone. At different points in life, we reach certain milestones and begin to feel like we have “arrived.”

It could be:

• Getting into university
• Landing a good job
• Getting married
• Achieving a long-awaited goal

At that moment, we feel we know enough. We relax. We become comfortable.

Then the struggle starts again, a new level appears, you pursue it as best as you can, and after you attain it, you realize with the benefit of hindsight that you should have done some things differently, that when you were so cocky & sure, you did not know it all.

Without guidance, you will always learn the hard way. Imagine you are at Point C in your life today.

From this vantage point, you look back at Points A and B, which you have passed (1, 5, 10, 15 years ago). With your current knowledge, you can clearly see what you could have done better.

That realization is powerful, but it is also costly. Because it means you paid for those lessons with time, energy, and sometimes missed opportunities. This is where mentorship becomes critical.

One of the greatest abilities of man is introspection - think about the past, determine the cost of decisions, and make better decisions about the future based on such insights. But introspection alone is not enough. Without guidance, you may still repeat patterns, only becoming aware after the cost has been paid.

This is where mentorship becomes invaluable.

A mentor helps you:

• See what you cannot yet see
• Avoid mistakes you haven’t yet made
• Move faster and more deliberately

You don’t have to learn everything the hard way. You can borrow perspective. You can borrow experience. And in doing so, you save years of your life.

Get a Mentor! Don’t do this life on trial & error or on limited knowledge that you have.

Look for someone who has experience in the path you are going on and get advice and insight that can help you.

Newly married people can look for successful couples; an undergraduate should find successful graduates for assistance; young ones should generally look for older ones; and old folks should look for more mature people for mentorship. Everyone needs a mentor and a guide!

I used to think I should talk to someone who cares. While that is desirable, I have come to see that what matters more is this: talk to someone who is qualified. Someone who has results. Someone who has walked the path. Someone who understands what you are trying to achieve.

If I had access years ago to the level of knowledge I have now, and it required payment, I would have paid dearly for it. That is how valuable the right guidance is.

The difference between having a mentor and not having one can be enormous, sometimes measured in years, opportunities, and even financial outcomes. A typical example is the people who had mentors who advised them to buy and hold Bitcoins when they were worth pennies!

There is another principle that reinforces my belief in mentorship: giving!

One of the ways to find happiness in life is to serve others. All we have, and all we are, will be gone someday. So why not give it out freely while we can? The greatest bequest we can give to others is our insights and knowledge that helps them navigate life as a pro. I think I have got some knowledge to share—gained over the years from study, reading, and personal development. From the Bible and publications like Awake! and Watchtower*, to everything I could lay my hands on growing up.

So I give. I teach. I guide. I go the extra mile, especially for those who are willing to learn. Because I operate by a simple principle: Do for others what you wish someone had done for you.

On a final note, if you are serious about growth, don’t walk the path alone.

Get a mentor.

Learn faster.
Avoid costly mistakes.

Grow intentionally.

Because the truth is simple:

You can figure things out on your own, but at a price.
Or you can learn from someone who already has walked the path and move faster, further, and better.

It’s your move now!

 

* In the JW Library App and on wol.jw.org, you will find issues of Awake! and Watchtower dating back to 1970. Those publications have provided valuable mentorship to me across all spheres of life. Take a dive.