The Art of Recognition: Unraveling the Threads of Exploitation

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Humans are very complex beings. We often want freedom but in its pursuit we enslave ourselves. We do not want people to use us but often we entrench our own exploitation by ourselves. That we may detest something but love another that leads straight to it makes it easy for humans to be easily manipulated.

Someday, we shall discuss our enslavement in search of freedom. Today we shall discuss exploitation. No one wants to be taken advantage of at all. For every human, giving goes with receiving even if not in the same currency - not give 'A' & get 'A'. It often is give 'A' & get 'T'. Like giving care and attention and receiving the same or housing, money, or any other thing. When it is a case of 'kem kem huga' (mine alone gets lost) we soon lose any interest in the relationship, no matter the ties. Yeah, we actively resist it when people take advantage of us. But we love recognition & appreciation.

'Gratitude is the least of virtues and ingratitude the worst of vices' the sages say. When we get reciprocity for our gifts, we feel good and there is a chance that the relationship will thrive. But even when we get nothing tangible in return, we are satisfied when the other party shows genuine gratitude! Herein lies the key to our manipulation by others: We will likely endure or even enjoy being exploited if the person 'running us street' gives us the utmost recognition & shows unreserved appreciation.

See, some of the load you are carrying at work & elsewhere is manipulatively thrust on you. Some are deliberately done by expert manipulators; others are unaware of what they are doing, just as you are of the manipulation. This second group may be lazy or have learned helplessness because you have proved to be reliable in carrying their load of responsibilities.


'We can't do without you'
'My sister is God-sent'
'He has been taking care of us for ages'
'You have taken the organization to the highest level'
'You are our shining light & the Department is proud of you'
You feel great being recognized while they lounge & refuse to do what they ought to do to help themselves and contribute. They applaud you while they shirk their duties.



People will applaud you to the highest heavens, & they mean it o, don't get me wrong, they truly appreciate it. But then they cross their legs & wait on your hustle. Because they hail you and recognize you, you won't even realize that they are using you. Typical of all humans, we love it when people are appreciative and do not take what we do for them for granted. Be careful, therein lies a snare. Be sure you know when you are being played.

Let everyone do what they can & ought to do. Aunty who sews must be diligent in that tailoring. The uncle who runs a provision shop must show up. New staff who have not gained competence must do the routine work diligently. Oga, who leads, must provide vision and direction. You may carry the heavier load because of who you are and the many ways you have been blessed, but let everyone pull their weight according to their capacity. Simple!


Do you want to do a rain check on your performance on this? Make sure that everyone you are pulling your weight for is also pulling all their weight for themselves! The people you give allowances to, what do they do for themselves? Can they work or run a business? How are they doing? Are they making any efforts to wean themselves of your help? If the people you are helping are not helping themselves, my friend, you are being played. You must take action to ensure that you correct the situation. You must loosen the chains of exploitation and please do not let the 'high' feeling of being a benefactor blind you to the fact that you are just creating parasites and not truly empowering the people you care for - another failure if you ask me!


Even if you can, don't transform people's situation too rapidly; make sure they are growing organically. Eg. Start him up with a Keke & see how he thrives before you buy him a small car, & then as he shows the capacity to care for himself & what you give, you may add some more privileges.

We fall yakata when people praise us genuinely. We need the commendation to thrive. But we must ensure that we are not promoting laziness and run down & out by adulation.


Think!



Credits: image on a line: Image by https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/arrangement-still-life-friendship-day-elements_14311770.htm. Image by Freepik


A man near machinery: https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/portrait-attractive-black-african-american-man-posing-industrial-machinery. Image by ASphotofamily on Freepik


Father helping child: Image by https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/child-learning-how-plant-tree_13762152.htm Image by Freepik


Climbing the Ladder: Image by storyset on Freepik

Applause: Image by <a href="https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/medium-shot-smiley-workers-office_24238672.htm#page=2&query=exploitative%20work%20relationship&position=31&from_view=search&track=ais&uuid=3ac4631e-c4fd-43ce-9b5b-bb2a9e6451ef">Freepik</a>
Image by Freepik

Comments

  1. juduchNovember 18, 2023 at 10:13 AM

    Thank you dear brother. The inclination of humans by nature is selfish and thus tend towards exploitation. And the entitlement mentality among younger is predominant. Thank you as this article will help me to put in check my expectations of others. Appreciated

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 24, 2023 at 11:20 AM

    Can you rewrite the following text?

    Great write up. Never thought of it that way but it makes a lot of sense. Truth is we all want and need people to carry their weight. No matter how nice or benevolent one may be, one gets tired when the beneficiary makes no effort to help improve the situation. Thank you for calling the attention of those of us who could get carried away by genuine appreciation. Great piece 👍🏼

    ReplyDelete

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